10 Best Books on How to Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries can be challenging and seems impossible at first for many reasons: we can feel guilty when setting a line, we can be afraid of confrontation, we can avoid hurting others’ feelings, and sometimes we’re also reluctant to set boundaries for fear of being disliked or rejected.

One of the best ways to increase our self-awareness and to understand our patterns and behaviors is by reading insightful books, by reading consistent or inspirational books by experts, we become able to make small and realistic steps in order to overcome our struggles.

Below are the 10 best relationship books that will help you get started.

Just pick the book that resonates with you the most.

1. Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day

This book is a practical guide to setting healthy boundaries in many different situations. The author Anne Katherine did a brilliant job of clearing up different types of boundaries (Intimacy, time, parents, friends, autonomy…). She defines the boundary as a “limit that promotes Integrity” and that needs to be protected. By reading this book, you will get tips and insights for creating firm boundaries, case studies, and real-life examples that will help you learn new skills practically and concretely.

2. Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power

This book is recommended for Highly sensitive people and empaths, and everyone who reacts to life with compassion and caring. These kinds of people are more prone to energy vampires and toxic people, because of their caring character, they will give too much without paying attention to their energy field and their boundaries.

If you are one of those people (I’m one of them), you must learn how to protect yourself by spotting the patterns of behavior that drain you and injure your self-esteem. This book is a guide for you to heal from painful wounds and leave unhealthy relationships.

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3. The Power of No: Because One Little Word Can Bring Health, Abundance, and Happiness

This book is for people struggling to say NO to overwhelming requests, like people pleasers or people who haven’t learned an appropriate skill to speak up for themselves and refuse things that don’t serve them. This practical guide is great to find out the power of this magical word. It will save you time and energy for things that truly matter to you and help you to have control over your life.

4. Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty… And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

Do you find it hard to meet your needs without feeling guilty, do you need to please others, are you afraid to hurt others’ feelings, If so, chances are that you can be used by people because you are a people pleaser.

By reading this book, you can learn to confidently ask for what you want, speak up more for yourself and overcome your feelings of guilt about fixing limits in your relationships.

5. Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

This workbook is principally recommended for people who are raised in a Christian family, It demonstrated that being a loving and selfless Christian doesn’t contradict the reality that you must care for yourself and respect your boundaries. You will find in this book a series of tools to apply when fixing limits with your family, children, spouse, and yourself.

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6. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty

This bestseller will assist you to overcome the feeling of guilt, commonly felt when starting to set your boundaries, feeling guilty is generally the first obstacle for your self-care, and the reason why the majority give up on their journey because they feel like they are doing something bad or wrong for others, and they aren’t good people. By reading this book you can start by understanding more feelings and processing them in a healthy way for better and more sustainable relationships.

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7. The Disease To Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome

I highly recommend this book for people pleasers; it was my first reading on the subject, a simple but useful guide to understanding more about the disease to please and to overcome it with practical steps. The book starts with a quiz to determine if you are a people pleaser or not, and what type you are, so you can after learn to make small and personalized changes to your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions for a long and sustainable change in your life.

8. The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!)

The eight-book on the list can help you to stand up for yourself and to learn to handle draining requests with confidence and assertiveness. You will master the skills of setting boundaries and taking care of yourself by meeting your needs and refusing to do things that don’t matter to you anymore.

9. The Power of a Positive No: Save The Deal Save The Relationship and Still Say No

If you are committed to setting your boundaries, but you can’t handle losing your relationship and close ones, I assure you that you can do that effortlessly with the right skills. This guide will help you to stand up for yourself politely and kindly by developing your communication ability to positively and firmly communicate your feelings and personal limits.

10. Understanding Codependency, Updated, and Expanded: The Science Behind It and How to Break the Cycle

Last, if you are interested in healing the patterns behind your low self-esteem, and you’re struggling to speak up for your authentic self, I recommend you this golden book. It’s a guide for codependent people who struggles to live in toxic relationships, and they are chosen as the worst people to engage with. It will help you understand your patterns and overcome your unhealthy behaviors step by step to break the cycle and honor your authentic self.